Letting Your Guard Down To Be More Intimate With Your Partner

You’ve been hurt before, so it makes complete sense why you have a wall built up. You’re trying to protect yourself. You will do anything you can to make sure you can prevent yourself from feeling that way again. 

But, now you're in a committed relationship. You love and trust your partner. In fact, this may even be the best relationship you’ve ever been in. But that being said, you can’t seem to knock down those walls that you built up. Even though you're in a healthy and stable relationship, you still don’t want to experience that hurt again.

Here’s how to let your guard down to be more intimate with your partner. 

Be Open and Honest With Your Partner

Communication is key in any type of relationship, especially romantic and intimate ones. One of the best ways to start letting your guard down a bit in your relationship is to be open and honest about your wants and needs with yourself and your partner. You would want the same from them. Plus, being honest about your wants and needs can help to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. This can also help to prevent your past history from repeating itself. Make sure you're also showing your partner the same level of respect and listening to their wants and needs as well. A partnership involves both parties communicating and listening for it to work effectively.

Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the saying, "You can't love someone else until your love yourself"? As much as you want to roll your eyes after hearing this, it's completely true. If you don't have a love for yourself, how do you expect to give love to someone else? When you value yourself, you're more willing to meet your own wants and needs and find someone who is willing to do the same for you. Make sure you're taking care of yourself. Eat healthy and well-balanced meals. Drink enough water during the day. Aim for at least eight hours of sleep each night. And make time for a little self-care here and there.

Practice Acceptance

Give yourself a little grace. Your relationships not working out in the past may have been out of your control. You can't blame yourself, your partner, or anyone else in your life for something nothing working out how you originally imagined it. You won't be able to control everything that happens in your life. No matter how much time and energy you spend thinking about what could've, should've, or would've been different, you wouldn't have been able to change it. Nor should you even want to anymore. Your past is your past for a reason. Some people walk into your life for a lesson and others may stay for a lifetime. Consider your past relationships a learning lesson. You now know what you're looking for and what you're not looking for moving forward. The sooner you're able to let go of the blame game, the sooner you'll be able to move forward and onto bigger and better things.

Seek Additional Help

If you're struggling to let your guard down or to be more intimate with your partner, you're not alone. You may just need a little extra help. Speaking with an outside third party like a therapist may be exactly what you need to help you stop overthinking, work through your past, and find ways to slowly let your guard down.

Meeting with a therapist can provide a safe and stable environment for you to start to express yourself in a judgment-free zone. Don't hesitate in getting the help that you deserve. Reach out today to set up a consultation for couples counseling.