How To Set Healthy Boundaries In Your Relationship

Communication is key in making any type of relationship work. No matter the type of relationship, a family member, a friend, a coworker, or an intimate partner, boundaries are essential in order for the relationship to work.

Boundaries may seem like a harsh ask. In reality, it's actually one of the best ways to ensure that your and your partner's wants and needs are both being met. That's what a relationship is after all. A healthy relationship should be mutually beneficial for both parties.

Here's how to set healthy boundaries in your relationship.

Be Open and Honest About Your Needs

First things first, you should have a general idea of what you want your boundaries to be. Make sure you have this in mind before you go into a conversation expressing that you need to set boundaries.

For example, you may want to set a boundary at your job where you only answer emails during normal business hours.

A boundary for a loved one could be that you'd like to be notified before they decide to come over. You don't want them popping by any chance they feel like it because you may have plans.

A relationship boundary could be wanting a day to yourself. It doesn't mean you don't like them, it just means that you value your alone time and you'd like your partner to respect that.

Whatever your boundaries are, make sure you also have a reason behind them as to why setting them is important to you. Boundaries can be

Listen to Their Needs

Listening to your partner's needs is just as important as getting to speak to your own boundaries. You're asking for your partner to respect and adhere to your boundaries, so it's equally as important for you to do the same. Relationships require both parties to come together to ensure the wants and needs of both partners are being respected and fulfilled.

Make sure you're truly listening as well. This means limiting any distractions. Turn off the TV. Put the phone away. Don't think about what you're going to say next. Actively listen and ask questions if you need help clarifying anything.

Be Mindful of The Way You Communicate

This should go without saying, but be respectful. Talking about boundaries may be a difficult conversation, but it doesn't have to be. If you and your partner want the best for one another, you'll take the necessary steps to make sure that happens.

Be mindful of the words you choose to use as well as your tone of voice and body language throughout your conversation. For example, using "I" can make your partner see your point of view. When you use "You" sentences, your partner may get defensive instead.

Seek Additional Support

Boundaries can be healthy for any type of relationship.

Setting boundaries can be a great way to maintain the balance that is important and essential in all types of relationships. Boundaries can also help reduce conflict in the future because both parties should have a general idea of the expectations that are being set through direct, open, and honest conversation.

If you or someone you're in a relationship with is struggling with setting or implementing boundaries, seeking additional support may be necessary in order for the relationship to continue. An unbiased third party like a therapist can help you or both of you identify the boundaries that you'd like to set in your relationship moving forward. They will also be able to work with you to better communicate with one another moving forward.

Reach out to me today if you're interested in learning more about couples counseling.