How To Cope With The Challenges Of A Bicultural Relationship

When you're growing up, you learn and pick up on different things from your parents, family members, friends, and classmates. Many of your values and beliefs will be similar to those that are near you when you live in a certain area.

When you venture off to college or move to a different city and state, you're more likely to come across people with different views and opinions than those in your hometown. You may even meet someone that is from a completely different culture.

Any type of relationship comes with its own set of challenges. A bicultural relationship can be a little harder to navigate than a relationship consisting of two individuals who already share the same culture.

Here are some ways that you can cope with the challenges of a bicultural relationship.

Educate Yourself

It's not up to your partner to educate you on every single detail of their culture just like it's not your responsibility to educate or teach your partner. Sure, you both can introduce one another to certain aspects of each of your cultures, but if you want to show that you truly care and have an interest in learning more, take some time to educate yourself. Lean on your partner to help answer any questions or clarify anything.

There are many different ways that you can educate yourself. Research online, read a book or listen to an audiobook or podcast. Spending some of your free time to learn more about your partner's culture can show them how much you care about them and the relationship you share together. Plus, if you know more about your partner's culture, you're more likely to want to participate.

Be Patient

When you've been living your life for a certain number of years, it can be difficult to implement a change, no matter what the change may be. Any type of change can take time. When it comes to blending two different cultures, make sure you're practicing patience with your partner as well as with yourself. There's a difference between teaching someone and correcting or changing their behaviors.

Make sure you're guiding your partner into your culture instead of telling them what's right versus what's wrong. Learning a new culture can be difficult to navigate. Lean on one another during this time. You're both going through the same thing for one another. Guide one another through reassurance and positive reinforcement instead of belittling or overcorrecting. When you create a safe and open space with one another, you both will be more willing and able to learn about one another's culture.

Find a Balance

Being in a bicultural relationship doesn't mean that you have to celebrate every single element of both cultures. It also doesn't mean that you only celebrate your own while your partner celebrates theirs. You have to find a healthy balance and find a way to merge the two cultures together. Merging cultures is no different that merging your two lives anyway. You're both two independent people. You each have your own thoughts, opinions, values, wants, needs, and beliefs.

Rarely in life do you find a partner that is a 100% complete match to yourself. Opposites attract. Plus, it's nice being able to see a different side or perspective to help challenge you and allow you to think differently and grow as a person. Find a healthy balance that works for both you and your partner to help you grow individually and as a couple.

Seek Additional Support

If you're struggling with managing the extra stressors that come with a bicultural relationship, you're not alone. You may be experiencing feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy. A therapist will be able to work with you to help you overcome these feelings and help you better adjust to a bicultural relationship and life. The positives outweigh the negatives and the anxiety.

If you're interested in working with a therapist, reach out to me today to set up a consultation for couples counseling.