Grief And The Holidays: How To Cope When You Are Missing A Loved One

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It's the most wonderful time of the year, right?

So, why doesn't it feel that way for you?

You're counting down the days. But your countdown looks a little different from most people this time of year. They're counting down the days until the holiday, opening presents, spending time with loved ones, etc.

You're counting down the days until it marks another day without them. You won't get to celebrate with them. They won't be smiling next to you while opening presents. And you definitely won't be spending precious time together.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. You thought you had more time. They left too soon, and you're not sure how you're going to recover and move forward.

Here's how to cope when you're missing a loved one during the holidays.

Give Yourself Grace

Be patient with yourself during this time. No matter if it's been days, weeks, months, or years, the grieving process is different for everyone. There isn't exactly a right or a wrong way to go about it. Make sure you're taking the time to feel and process all of the emotions you're experiencing. Grieving isn't easy, but it's one of the only ways you can move forward in your life again. Don't try to escape or bury anything you're feeling. This can only make you feel worse and delay the healing process.

picture of a christmas tree lit up

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are necessary for any type of healthy relationship. It's okay and actually encouraged to set boundaries, even during the holiday. You aren't obligated to attend any gathering or celebration just because it's tradition. If your mental health is suffering, set boundaries for your overall mental health and wellness. Don't let the expectations of others sway or pressure you into doing things you don't feel comfortable doing.

Practice Coping Techniques

Plan ahead before the holiday season so you can be proactive toward stressful events. When grief hits you, especially when it hits at unexpected times, having coping mechanisms readily available to you can be a huge help. There are many different coping techniques out there, so you'll have to test a few out and see what works best for you. Here are a few coping techniques you can try out:

  • Breathe

  • Go for a walk outside

  • Listen to music

  • Practice yoga or meditation

  • Start a journal

Volunteer

The holiday season is about getting together, but it's also about giving. Channeling your feelings into helping others can be a great use of your time and energy. Volunteering can help you feel good but spreading a little kindness and joy to someone else who may need it. Reach out to a local organization in your community. You can also take it a step further and try to volunteer for an organization that the person you're grieving for may have supported.

Lean On Your Loved Ones

Your loved ones are there for you through the good times and bad times. The grieving process is included in that. It's okay to lean on your loved ones during this time. Let them know what you need from them whether it's a shoulder to cry on, a safe space to vent your frustrations or advice on how to move forward. Your loved ones care for you and want what's best for you. They'll understand if you're not feeling the normal amount of holiday cheer this year.

Seek Professional Help

Although you may feel alone in your grief, there is help available to you. Don't delay asking for help if and when you need it.

The holidays aren't an easy time. They bring on extra stress and anxiety for a lot of people. Throwing grief on top of those feelings doesn't make it any easier.

If you're hesitant going into the holiday season due to grief, it's okay to ask for help. Reach out to me today if you're interested in talking with a therapist for grief counseling or depression treatment.